To Vicky
O mountains high and spacious, how far do ye span?
O rivers dry, be gracious; quench this thirsty man!
I wander, mad, I weep, I scream "Set this heart free!"
O sweetest maiden, hear my endless love for thee!
The ever-humble worshipper of your Beauty,
Stu
To Vicky
While journeying through toils, each challenging my strength,
I gaze down towards the soil, I stare the trees at length.
Within the whirling leaves I see your curling hair
Though distant run my feet, my thoughts take refuge there.
Always lovingly yours,
Steve
O rivers dry, be gracious; quench this thirsty man!
I wander, mad, I weep, I scream "Set this heart free!"
O sweetest maiden, hear my endless love for thee!
The ever-humble worshipper of your Beauty,
Stu
To Vicky
While journeying through toils, each challenging my strength,
I gaze down towards the soil, I stare the trees at length.
Within the whirling leaves I see your curling hair
Though distant run my feet, my thoughts take refuge there.
Always lovingly yours,
Steve
Your first one was good because you made stu so reckless. But your Steve poem didn't have explicit info of the Tao. I think I see what you were trying to do with the last line; But since we presume that Vicky has read his letter, all that the last line communicates is, "I think about you all the time, Babe". That is kind of un-Stevely.
ReplyDeleteThe difficulty in the Steve poem lies in that writing love poetry is un-Stevely in general. A Steve, by definition, denies his desires. A true "love poem"(other than one that writes of love itself or some other sort of abstract subject) automatically assumes some sort of desire already exists, and in some way attempts to describe or work with that feeling. Since writing a love poem was the assignment, I decided to make Steve's poem one that aims to maintain a reasonable distance, and then use that to stir Vicky's sentiments. A Steve sticks to his methods of maintaining reasonable distance and going on with the other parts of his life even while he fancies a woman, and that is what I intended to convey.
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